arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via celibacy)


jamescannotfly:

nostopdasgay:

everets:

Every morning the light comes in and my toilet looks beautiful

holy shit

Please tell me that was an intentional pun

jamescannotfly:

nostopdasgay:

everets:

Every morning the light comes in and my toilet looks beautiful

holy shit

Please tell me that was an intentional pun

(via immamamallama)



tastefullyoffensive:

How to Get 10% Off Your Order at Not a Burger Stand in Burbank, CA

Chalk art by Lila Roux

Previously: Funny and Creative Sandwich Board Signs


(via linhiguess)


giggleshrug:

CONFIRMED ONE DIRECTION HEIGHT

Louis: smurf

Niall: cuter smurf

Zayn: obnoxiously handsome smurf

Liam: yas

Harry: the glitter boots ain’t foolin anyone you pressed 5’11 motherfucker 

(via bralpha)


tatehorror:

compliments from the babe <3

image

(via sniffing)


burgerkid:

burgerkid:

burgerkid:

Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?

His mummy.

i lost 10 followers already

(via cupcakes-and-rush)


unshaped:

when you’re tired and people force you to do something for them

image

(via tinychatting)


slaive:

when you know you typed ur password wrong but you hit enter still hoping it’s correct

(via departured)